"for duty's sake"

i never realized until tonight when i was performing the fact that my duty in the church is so important to me. i mean, i've know it has, but it really hit me tonight when i was singing.

what changed? after the earthquake yesterday, i've been really cautious on what i do. that was not a normal earthquake. a normal earthquake would have been a small rumble, but this was way way out there. it was a sign that our lord jesus christ is coming soon.

during the intermission, i was praying so hard that there would be no more earthquakes. i really was. after yesterday's, i couldnt stand still anymore. i keep swaying back and forth and i cant stop it. i felt so helpless. swaying from side to side and then some. yeah, the earthquake really scared me silly. while i'm typing this, i'm moving around my chair.

when i was singing 256, i felt the holy spirit in me. it was so strong. it also hit me that my duty means all the world to me. it's like...my life. i've said in the past that i dont really have a life, but my duty is really my whole life. it became my whole life in fact. if that earthquake really got in the way of my duty, i would repeat my performance until it didnt.

this duty means that i am closer to god. god watches over me night and day, when my parents arent around, when i'm sad. he's my guardian. if my duty were taken away from me, i would fight to get it back. no matter how long it takes, i'll fight for it.

this earthquake that happend yesterday, october 30, 2007 at 8:04 pm, has made such a positive effect on me and as well as a negative effect.

i do not like the fact that science tells us that this was the biggest earthquake since 89. i dont like the fact that i cannot stand still for more than a second. i dont like the fact that i have to spend every waking moment wondering if the ground it moving or not. all of these really bug me to death. despite all this, there is one thing that came out from this earthquake.

it is that i have realized how much my duty means to me. when i felt the earthquake, it was during choir practice. it was a scary experience since i was under one of the chandliers when it started shaking. it looked like the chandelier was gonna fall off the ceiling. despite that, i kept singing till we got to the final 'amen'. if that chadelier had fallen off, i would have been caught by it when it hit the ground. but it didnt. why? because of god's protection. there must have been a reason for the quake happening during practice. that reason for me is to realize that my duty is very special.

inc memebers, never ever take your duty for granted. it is the most sacred thing you have. if you neglect it, who knows what will happen. look at me. i went to choir practice, a natural disaster struck, and yet i'm still here. which told me that my duty is very special for me. perform your duty with all your hearts brethren. you'll surely feel the power that i have felt tonight.

school

if it's one thing i learned about school, it's the fact that it is very overwhelming. junior year so far to me has been filled with homework every single night, class work every class, and people changing.

i dont even know where to start...i can understand homework being an issue for me and for other people as well. but it's only the 3rd week back, and 2 out of the 3 weeks, i've been working my butt off everyday just to finish every single piece of work that's given to me. i can't even take 5 minutes at home just to rest, take in the moment, and breathe. it;s like...something happened to time and it still hasn't hit me yet.

oh yeah, did i mention that i haven't been sleeping right? oh man, with all the work i do, i dont have time to sleep. i swear, this is my schedule every single day. NO LIE

mon: school, home, homework, sleep
tues: school, home, homework, choir practice, homework, sleep
wed: school, home, homework, perform, home, homework, sleep
thurs: school, home, homework, church, home, choir practice, study, sleep
fri: school home, homework, out, home, sleep
sat: somewhere for half the day, home, homework, sleep
sun: church, home, perform, choir practice, home, somewhere for 4 hours, study, sleep

*repeat when necessary*

yup, that's the fabulous life of me. work-a-holic to the max.


i think the only good thing that's come out of me going to school is mrs. voss' class. at least she makes english fun. despite the fact it's an AP class. she actually comes out and tell you that life hits you hard like a ton of bricks and you just have to deal with it and live through life and hope for the best. most kids that have her right now think she's scary, but i think she's awesome. the one thing though that i dont like is that we have to buy our textbooks at the strangest places...


"The long walks in story weather or through deep snows in the field and woods, if you would keep your spirits up. Deal with brute nature. Be cold and hungry and weary." Henry David Thoreau

^ my favorite quotation so far that mrs. voss made us explain. even though it is a depressing quotation, it's the tells the truth.